This post is personal.

I often write about Prosperity, Witchcraft, Goddesses.  With my life and being a professional Lightworker, I write to inspire, to heal, to comfort.

Today, I shall write about something that I rarely talk about: my love life.

For roughly half my life, I have had an unlined artist’s sketch book that I use as a “quote book.”  If there is a quote that moves me, it goes in the book.

My personal favorite and one that always moves me to tears is from Anais Nin: “And the day came when the risk it took to remain in the bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom.”

And yes, upon having transcribed that quote, I can feel tears pricking at my eyes.

However, there is a quote that I thought of shortly before I began writing this post: “the public, my dear, shall always give up its dinner for love letters.”

Unfortunately, I have been unsuccessful in finding the author of that quote, and my quote book is being enjoyed by the Sacred Fey, which would explain why I have not seen it in a few months.

For a long time, the challenges that I experienced regarding my love life were more than I can bear.  I truly believe and know as Divine Truth that a desire we have in our hearts was placed there by the Divine (Whom I call Goddess).

In fact, for several years the Goddess made it clear to me that Her Divine Will was a Divine Romance.  And, I Lovingly but firmly told Her that She needs to get over it.

From November, 2011 until August, 2012 every time I would stand, sit, or kneel in front of my Divine Love Altar, and speak, beg, cry, yell, or even scream and all the Celestial Beings represented on said Altar to remove this desire from my Heart.

However, I soon discovered that I literally had a broken heart, as my Divinely Orchestrated stroke confirmed.

One of the many Blessings that came into my life after what I call my Divinely Orchestrated stroke was that all  my issues regarding romance and sex were banished back to the nothingness from whence they came.

As such, I began to open myself to a Divine Romance and to Sacred Sexuality.  Last November, I reconnected with someone who I had met at an open Ritual.  And, who I learned he is also a Gay Man, and I took the plunge, threw caution to the wind, and asked him out on a date.

Now, the late, great mother of my personal Psychic Advisor, Roger Pratt (http://www.rogerpratt.com) used to say that every Witch needs a “Darren.”  Personally, I have had “Darrens” in my life, and they are not in my life right now.  Besides, I love the thought of engaging in Sexual Witcheries with a Divine Lover.

I was scared, and I was nervous, but I sent him a text as I was heading back home.  I asked him out on a date, and he said yes.  He and I had three dates, and then he became overwhelmed by work, the world, and personal issues.

Now, I must confess that although my personal Goddess Is Auset (more commonly Known as Isis), the Ancient Egyptian Goddess of Magick, Witchcraft, Psychic Powers, Healing Love and Restorative Love, in matters or romance, I AM, indeed, a Child of Oshun, the Afro-Caribbean Goddess of Love, Beauty, Sensual Pleasures, Music and Dance.

In somewhat crude laypersons terms, that means that, in romantic relationships, I tend to be the bitch.

Last night, my paramour and I had a chat, Facebook style (by the Goddess,  I have never met a Gemini who seems so averse to literally speaking!).  He assured me that he does like me, does not find me attractive, and he does not place looks as the most important thing.

So, I learned not to use my smart phone to access Facebook.  And I also learned that I have an issue with him not finding me attractive and still wanting to develop something with me.

All in all, I AM crystal clear that I need to not only increase the frequency of Self-Love Affirmations but also to open my options.  And to continue to allow the Goddess’s Divine Will for a Divine Romance to manifest in my life.  Be it with this man, or another.

Part of me feels sad and part of me feels hopeful.  Nonetheless, I need to move forward.  And clearly, the Goddess Is Re-Minding me to laugh: I find it fascinating which songs I hear on Pandora when I AM in these modes!

Before I close, I wish to Lovingly acknowledge three wonderful friends with whom I share my Earthly Sojourn and who have been enormously helpful, kind, supportive and Loving in this experience.  They are:

 

The Amazing Nicole Tomassini–She is an actress, director, comedienne, and awesome professional Spirit Therapist;

My personal Psychic Advisor, Roger Pratt–He has spoiled me for other Psychics.  He is a font of Wisdom and a truly wonderful friend, too.  Feel free to visit his Website: http://www.rogerpratt.com;

My GMBFF (Gay Male Best Friend Forever), Mr. Gary Suto, Cosmic Creator and Divine Designer of the House of Suto, as well as the founder of the NYC Open Gay Men’s Pagan Magick Circle.  He shall change your future, one dress at a time.  His Website is forthcoming, but for the meantime, feel free to look him up, via Facebook, Twitter, and Yahoo.

 

Feel free to comment, but please, be nice when you do.

Thank you, one and all, for honoring who I AM and what I do.  Have a lovely weekend.is

Advertisements

6 comments on “This post is personal.

  1. Robert – Thank you for your post. It is beautiful – and so are you. I see you having the wonderful, hot, and sexy romance you deserve.

    So much love to you!!!!!

    xoxoxo-Holly

    • Thank you, Holly. You are so beautiful to write this.

      I must confess, last night I expected to cry. There is a part of me that still believes that, if I truly loved someone, especially romantically, I would cry if the relationship ended.

      The Holiday gifts I had for him, I gave to myself. And I was OK with that. Actually, one is a GORGEOUS Oracle Card Deck that gave him and me a visceral reaction when we saw it, but I was happy to give it to him then.

      So, now I AM using it at tomorrow’s Epiphany Faire and that way it can heal and guide others.

  2. You’ll find your man :). Please accept this advice that I have no idea why I feel then eed to tell you. I’m not usually an advice person. I’m usually a “commiserate with you” type person. Just…use it for what you can.

    You live a brave and unconventional life. Don’t be afraid to look for love the same way. And don’t dismiss it if you find it in unexpected places.

    You’re partner will be who you want/need, but they might not be where you expect.

    Ok. Transmission done.

    Love and light, Roberto.

    • Peaches, your comment is lovely and is moving me to tears.

      Last night, I was reading passages from “Earth Power,” by the late and great Scott Cunningham and he wrote about the differences between need and desire.

      I have come to accept that I do have a need for a romantic relationship. This is still new for me to acknowledge that need. Nonetheless, being brave and unconventional in looking for love, not today, but perhaps soon.

      And yes, I can see Holy Spirit Goddess bringing me my Divine Consort in the last place I would expect to see/find him.

  3. I had to read this three times. He likes you but doesn’t think your attractive!!!! (I have to say this..what a knucklehead!! I have dated my fair share in the past.)
    At this moment, your leading man is working his way toward you. I know your Sacred Mother isn’t going to let you down. When love walks in, it’s going to be awesome. You wait and see,my friend

    • Shell, thank you so much for the comment. Although, let me tell you, I AM currently in my local library, and I had to hold my lips tightly pressed together; if I had literally laughed out loud I think I would have been escorted out of the building!

      Indeed, when I read this, I needed to bid him good night. That was the first, last and only time I shall visit Facebook, via my smartphone.

      Indeed, I AM happy that I AM OK, and not going back to the old tapes I used to play ad infinitum regarding love, romance, etc. Thank you for delivering the Magickal Messages.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s