Eros Is the Greek God of Romantic and Sexual Love. He Is the Sacred Son of Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love, Beauty, Sensual Pleasures and Sexual Delights.
In exactly ten days, I have the honor and pleasure of leading a Ritual entitled “The Reawakening of Eros” for and with the NYC Open Gay Men’s Pagan Magick Circle. Earlier today, after taking a cleansing bath, I had a chat with Eros. The chat did not go well for me.
In fact, it left me feeling quite angry. So much so that if I hear or read of yet another person that I love and adore and honor experiencing pain and suffering and dishonor because of words or actions of another, this Super Psychic Witch is going to unleash a Storm of a Hex.
No one wants to fuck with me today. Today is one of those days that if anyone fucks with anyone I love and adore and honor, they are NOT going to be happy. And I have more than enough disgust in me to unleash an incredibly powerful Hex.
As I have written previously in my blog, quoting the words of THE Z. Budapest, a Witch who cannot Hex cannot Heal, a Witch who cannot Curse cannot Cure. And, as I have pointed out previously, also in this blog, the fact that the word “cure” can be found in the word “curse” is no coincidence.
So, I felt I needed to write a letter to Eros. Because, if nothing else, I AM always willing to stand for a Miracle; be it a Money Miracle, a Healing Miracle, a Joy Miracle or any other kind of Miracle. And virtually every time I have stood for a Miracle for another, he or she has received it.
So, for those of you that are very frustrated with Love, Romance or Sex; for those of you that are about to give up on Romance, Sex and Life (and please do not, because that is what led to my Divinely Orchestrated Stroke in August, 2012); for those of you who are in amazing romantically and sexually fulfilling relationships, unions, partnerships or marriages and yet fear the day when he or she or they shall leave you, this letter is for you.
My name is Robert Alvarez, and I do not know if I have worked with You before, but soon I shall lead a Ritual in Your Honor to celebrate Your Reawakening, but I need to discuss something with You.
First, how many times shall I have one setback after another regarding romance? How many times shall I be Your rag toy? How many more times shall I have romantic relationships end before they begin?
My Divinely Orchestrated stroke banished my issues regarding romance and sex back to the nothingness from whence they came. And yet, since the beginning of this calendar year, I have not physically manifested a Divine Romance. However, TWO romantic relationships ended before they began.
You and so many other Gods and Goddesses have made it crystal clear to me, time and again, that Your Will for me Is a Divine Romance. And for many years I told You that You–all of You–need to get over it. Well, now I AM open and receptive to a Divine Romance, and yet I keep having problems and making mistakes.
I know deep in my Heart of Hearts there is nothing wrong with me. And I have done so much to cleanse my complete Being of debris that prevents me from being a Holy Husband, Divine Consort and Sacred Lover. So, what else do I need to do? How much more shall I suffer?
Whether I like it or not, my body is human. So, how many more hardships and heartaches and frustrations I shall receive and yet all of You expect me to simply act as if they never occurred and keep my Heart and arms wide open.
Really? Do you think that I can tolerate and endure more suffering, more heartbreak, more failure and more frustration? Did you forget how in November, 2011 I finally gave up on Romance and Sex and LIFE?! And then I had a stroke?
You, Eros, and Others saved me. Why? And for what? So I can continue to suffer? So I can continue to experience pain? So I can begin to do things that I would never have dared to do just to survive? Is this the life of Love and Pleasure You wish for me?
Eros, I AM angry at You! I AM angry at You and other Goddesses and Gods of Love and Sex and Marriage and do You know why? I have no doubt You do, but I shall inform You, regardless. You invited me to welcome and embrace Light and Warmth, as opposed to remain in my safe prison cell of Dark and Cold. I opened myself to Your Light and Warmth and for what? So I can be punished? So I can be rejected yet again?
Why can You not give me what I need to be happy and healthy and Divinely Loved and Adored and Romanced and Sexually Fulfilled?
I want to serve and honor You with Love and Light, with Divine Delight, but right now I AM so angry at You. Why are other people who are wonderful and Loving suffering? Why are they having so much difficulty manifesting the Divine Romances that they (and I) so richly desire and deserve.
If You did not want us to have these desires for Divine Romance, then You would not have placed them in our Hearts. But these desires are there.
And how many times did I ask You and Other, beg You and Others, yell and scream at You and Others to remove that desire for a Divine Romance from my Heart. And did You do so? No, You did not.
So, are You going to let us continue to suffer? Shall we continue to experience one setback after another? One frustration after another? One ending after another, after another, after another?
You Are the Essence of Love; You were the first to remove Yourself from discord and chaos. And yet, You unleash Your Arrows that cause even more pain.
I, Robert Alvarez, Zachariah, the NightFalcon, call YOU to account, Eros. There is far too much suffering in the Physical Realms; there are too many of my Gay Male Brothers that feel ugly and unloved, dishonored and disgusted. AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Shall You simply allow them and others to suffer, or shall You unleash Your Arrows to bring Healing and Wholeness, Prosperity and Pleasure and Peace, Divinity and Delight?
And why must I be angry at a God of Love? And why must things happen in my life that would cause that? When I cannot count on a human being, I can count on a Divine Being! Or can I not count on You, Eros? Do You simply want me to be pricked by the thorns, or bathed and cleansed by the Petals of Pleasure and the Essence of Enveloping Love?
So, what else must I do to finally bring my Divine Consorts and Sacred Lovers back to me? How much more suffering must I endure? How many more endings before beginnings must I experience? How many more setbacks must I receive? How many more challenges must I experience to test the openness of my Heart?
Deep in my Heart of Hearts, I wish to surrender and release my anger and frustration toward You. I wish to Love and Honor and celebrate You, but this anger and frustration and bitterness stands in my way. How can I love You? How can I simply open my Heart and arms to You and trust and love and adore You, especially when I see people I love and adore and honor experience hardship and pain?
I have sacrificed Divine Romance for those I love and adore, and yet You and Others would not allow that. I want to cry, but I AM tired of crying, and I simply cannot spare the energy to cry.
Perhaps You can help me stop crying when yet another man leaves me, or allows fear to prevent him from being with me, when another relationship ends before it begins, when another setback leaves me feeling like I do not matter or that I lack, when another person betrays and dishonors me. And, yet, help me keep my Heart and arms wide open.
Perhaps You can teach me to always be Love, no matter what. Shall You help me experience Love and Pleasure in this Earthly Sojourn? Shall I once again feel that I can have this? Shall I once again know what it is like to share my Earthly Sojourn with another man (or men, as the case may be)?
I have told You and Others that I wish to live; I do NOT wish to die. I want to remember what it is like to have Joy and Restoration in every moment of my life, waking and sleeping. When I AM Prosperous and active, I AM beyond happy and beyond fulfilled that I have no worries or woes about no Romance in my life.
Can You help me return to that Sacred State? One in which I AM so fulfilled and at Peace that being single is not an issue for me? I want to have Faith in You, Eros, but given how many problems I have had in the past, how can I?
Help me have Faith in You and in Your Power. Help me know Peace and Pleasure and Prosperity, Healing and Wholeness, Joy and Freedom. Please give me a clear and evident Sign that You Are willing to help me. Help me Love You, my world, humanity, and everyone and everything once again.
Thank You, Eros, for reading my letter, for letting me inform you of my suffering, and the suffering of others. I AM a Sacred Servant of the Divine Great Mystery, and I ask that You end our suffering. Let us all have the Love and Romance and Sexual Pleasure and Divine Delights that we so richly desire and deserve. Let us remember great Love and Romance and amazing Sexual Fulfillment, as our Divine Birthright. For they are.
And let us be a Light in the Darkness, and a Beacon of Hope for those that wish to give up on Life.
Eros, may we soon give each other a Divine Abundance of Love and Honor and Adoration.
Robert Alvarez, the Psychic Witch.
Well, I shed a few tears, and that means the Healing is beginning. One of my favorite clients and students recently shared with me a message she Channeled from Spirit; that if there are no tears, how can there be Rainbows in one’s Soul?
For those of you that have experienced setbacks, frustrations, betrayals and endings in Romance, this letter was for you, too.
And for those of you that are in Divine Romances and yet you worry, this was for you, too.
And for those of you who are in Divine Romances and have no worries, may we one day be where you are and have for ourselves what you have.
Thank you, one and all, for honoring who I AM and what I do.