Ladies and gentlemen, blog followers and blog readers, it is very safe to say that I prefer to live in the world of Magick, in the world of the Spiritual, the Realm of the Goddess. I have no problem being realistic, or dealing with my life in a practical way, but the Mystical, Magickal, Metaphysical, and Spiritual are “where it’s at” for me.
Nonetheless, to accurately write this blog post, I needed to fully immerse myself in the world of men. Specifically, the world of men of science, and the world of men of medicine. I AM not fond of these worlds, as you shall soon read.
First, let me recap a few things. As most of you know, I had what I refer to as a Divinely Orchestrated stroke on Tuesday, August 28, 2012. I was back in the hospital in August, 2013, and no, I was not surprised.
As someone who has been reading Louise L. Hay’s works for many years, I AM fully aware that some people intertwine their physical wellness (or lack thereof) with the calendar. The fact that I was back in the hospital one year after my Divinely Orchestrated stroke was not lost on me.
However, this past April, 2014 was when I had what I call my health scare.
You see, I have always enjoyed walking. It is one of the best forms of exercise, one can do it regardless of what one is wearing (in other words, no special equipment is required), and, it gets me where I need to go, sometimes more effectively than even a bus or a cab.
More than ten years ago, I recall volunteering in Edison, New Jersey. One night, when I arrived at the Journal Square Transportation Center in Jersey City, New Jersey, I discovered that I had missed the last bus of the night, going where I needed to go.
I had a few options: I could take a PATH train to Manhattan, then head back to New Jersey (which made no sense to me!), or I could take one of the overpriced cabs in Journal Square. I opted for neither, and walked (yes, WALKED) the five miles from Journal Square to where I needed to go. And so I did.
So, this past April, when I went to a local clinic approximately fourteen blocks away from my apartment building, I had to literally stop–twice–to catch my breath. This scared me to the core. In fact, it terrified me. I had never had that kind of experience before. Ever!
I knew that I needed to go back to the hospital, and I also knew I did not want to do so. However, one of my personal confidants, who is also quite skilled at seeing Auras, and he told me that my Aura was dimming. In other words, I was dying.
So, I got over it, and I went back to the hospital.
I underwent several tests, lowered my sodium and fluid levels, received excellent care, and was only in the hospital for four days. Also, I met the Internist that has been treating my heart condition.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, blog followers and blog readers, is one of several reasons why I prefer to remain in the world of Magick, as opposed to the world of men of medicine and science.
Back in August, 2013, I was diagnosed with having Congenital Heart Failure (or, CHF, for short). Essentially, my heart does not pump out a minimum of seventy per cent of the blood that my heart receives. In fact, it pumps out between 15-20 per cent.
With that, my Internist began prescribing the following medications: Coreg, Vasotec, Pepcid, Lasix, and a prescribed, as opposed to over-the-counter Aspirin. To this, I also take a Men’s Multi-Vitamin complex, and Co Q-10. In addition, I make certain to maintain a low consumption of no more than 600 milligrams of sodium per meal, no more than 2400 per day, and no more than 32 fluid ounces (water, coffee, tea, etc.).
On Monday, November 10, 2014, I went back to the hospital (as an outpatient), to have an echocardiogram, and then went to my appointment with my Internist. As the results were not available the same day, I knew I would need to go back so that my doctor could discuss the results with me.
With that, I returned on Monday, November 24, 2014 and my doctor discussed the results with me.
When my doctor informed me that the echocardiogram showed no change in the condition of my heart, I simply had no strength, no desire, no anger in me to cry, to scream, even to become upset. It was a few hours after I returned home that I had the desire to become angry.
This nonsense of “But, I’ve been a good boy, I did was what expected of me, I behaved” blazed through my Mind. And for what? I find myself back at where I started.
I do not mind telling you that my hypochondria began to reassert itself, and I simply felt frustrated.
And so, I remembered some basic, Divine Truths that have served me well, all my life:
Stand for the possibility of having it all.
Use Affirmations, Decrees and “Words of Power” to Heal ALL of you.
Use Metaphysical Methods and Sacred Tools to Heal all your life.
Be honest with yourself; if necessary, painfully so, blunt.
Honor your complete Being: Body, Mind and Soul.
Resume a personal journal writing practice (I already did!).
Love your whole Being, and your whole life, no matter what.
Of course, it also helped that I have a great conversation with Kelvin, who is a certified Life Coach, as well as someone skilled in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (or, NLP, for short). You can read more about him by reading “Some Illumined Insight from Kelvin” by visiting http://thisgaymanslife.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/some-illumined-insight-from-kelvin/
One of the Illumined Insights I received from our Cosmic Coffee Klatch was that I had invested so much time and energy in proving my doctors wrong. I became more interested in being right, as opposed to being happy (and healthy, for that matter).
And with that, I stopped focusing on my doctors, and began focusing on me, on what and who I love, as well as eating more fruits, vegetables, grains, and refraining from being afraid if I happen to eat more than 600 milligrams in one meal, as well as if I happen to drink more than 32 fluid ounces in a day (or, night, as the case may be).
Medically speaking, the next step is a cardiac catheter test, which honestly, I AM dreading, nonetheless, I AM going to meet with the cardiologist who shall conduct it before the end of this month, as I AM meeting with my Internist in early January, 2015, and I want him to have those results, sooner than later.
In closing, I can honestly say that I have never been inclined to escape my problems with drugs, alcohol, food or sex, but the thought of living out the rest of my life on a deserted island did appeal to me. For a moment.
However, Holy Spirit Goddess continues to believe that my character needs to continue to be built, hence challenges and trials.
Personally, I still believe that I could achieve OUTSTANDING character with Wealth, a mansion, a few pieces of Harry Winston, Cartier, and Tiffany and Company jewelry, as well as a harem of sexy, deliciously hairy men. Oh, and a driver, and a cappuccino machine. Clearly, the Goddess disagrees.